I'll Get Around To It Later

Stockholm syndrome is often batted around for being the theme for "Beauty and the Beast" but I disagree. While the definition for Stockholm syndrome can applied it has some facets that do not overlap with the Disney fairytale:

the psychological tendency of a hostage to bond with, identify with, or sympathize with his or her captor [1]

This would fit if the story only focused on the captivity aspect of the "relationship" though it goes further. Beast does release her so she can care for her ill father. This takes it out of the scope of pure Stockholm syndrome that tag that many like to place on the film.

That choice on the Beasts part is critical for me, and because of it it reminds me more of an abusive relationship than Stockholm.

Throughout the film we get a sense of bad moral being projected from the Beast. Yet the underlying message is that if you just love him enough he will change. He will go from a Beast to a Prince! This is not how an abusive relationship works. And that is the most disturbing part about it as a whole.

This is much more destructive than the Stockholm syndrome comparison since many women either find themselves currently in an abusive relationship or will find themselves in one at some point.

When you start having these views when watching an animated movie that is the moment you realized you're getting old.

My niece/nephew* has just turned six months old. Incredible how fast time goes by.

My sister was very clear what she was willing to let me share and what not. And this is one reason why I haven't posted any photos etc.. Even babies gender was taboo and I am respecting those wishes.

When we were growing up personal boundaries were critical to our harmonious co-habitation of our household. Now that we have some space things are a lot more relaxed and I would go as far as saying they have become completely harmonious, something that our parents were never able to create.

As we were growing up it seemed like I was required to get on her nerves and I did do things to provoke a response from her. Now that isn't the case which is why I am more than happy to comply with her request here.

To say that half a year has gone by seems sort of trivial, but it really isn't. A lot happens in those first few months. A lot of development, though small, can be seen. From the initial weeks where I think my sister physically aged years to a steadily improving sleeping and eating rhythm to a bright inquisitive.

What has this really taught me?

Take things day by day.

Has my sister messed up sure. Anyone can and will mess up. It is simple to do but you can also learn from it. And most importantly, if you can't figure it out there are plenty of people you can ask for help/advice.

Look at it a a growing process, not just for the baby but for you as a parent as well.

I am writing this because my sister won't.

Some of you have been getting vocal about what you believe to be "good parenting" in what you perceive as bad parenting on my sister's part. To be fair to her and her husband you would have to acknowledge that they live very far away from most of you.

So some of the things that I need to get off my chest and place out there in the open for everyone to get an idea of what my sis and SO are going through with new baby, and the trial of first time parents are:

• When you come to visit:
  • You absolutely have to:
    • Changing baby. Sure it is cute, and a "once" in a lifetime chance for you. But baby isn't a doll. Besides that, will you want to change him when he is a toddler? My guess is no. So accept a no when my sister or her SO tells you politely no.
    • Feed baby. Ditto to the last point. It might be cute but baby has needs that somebody who hasn't done it before can't fulfill. They are not acting out of spite like some of you have tossed about.
    • They work full time, and yet they will make an effort to let you see baby. They just won't cook for you or go out to eat. If that works then you are welcome to visit. And if it is past eight in the evening forget it. That is bedtime for the whole family.

I know that you thought that the list would be harsh, and for some of you it might be, but these are reasonable expectations for you to respect. When you can't do that it isn't their problem.

Raising a baby is hard work, it is rewarding, and the more they get the hang of it I am sure parenting will get easier but right now they have their hands full and they would appreciate your understanding.

I recently went on a big Disney nostalgia kick mostly because of the remake of Aladdin and just started watching the animated features in no specific order though I though about going through them in production order.

Wish me luck!

Happy New Year whoever you are random Internet stranger! Wherever you are may the year ahead be happy, healthy and prosperous! And in the event that you don't stop by next year I wish you all the best for all of your years to come!

As you might be aware of - because I have written about it recently ;) - my sister and BiL have just had their first child. We - my parent and I - just got back from visiting them and it was for lack of a better word great! It was so much fun visiting and seeing our family grow. And grow together since part of his family also came to visit.

His sister, who is a couple of years older than I am and just finished college was there. And really we get along better than I do with my bio-sister - it's strange.

But I guess that is how it is when you have siblings. Sometimes that distance is more comfortable somehow.

If you have siblings you will know what I mean. At least if you are old enough to live apart that is, and taking life as an adult in comparison to homelife as a kid you actually do a lot less living together than you do apart. Thankfully.

My sister was good as siblings went, but there was still, and you know I wouldn't call it rivalry, more tension. We got on one another's nerves a lot. And it caused some stressful situations. As much for us as for our parents I am sure.

Especially during the holiday seasons when you have time off of school and it is generally too cold to go out and do things and you just get a sort of cabin fever. And I think another factor that comes into play when you grow up would have to be patiences. Children will get agitated really easily and when you have an annoying little sister (that would be me) you can only take so much until you throw her out of your room.

Now I look forward to the holidays and the time I have with her and her growing family. I can even hold myself back and wait until morning to open gifts. It is incredible what time will do for you.